Oh how I wish those darn triggers would never happen. Even though I get that I am being given incredible opportunities to learn, I would still prefer that they didn't jar my world. What I am developing is my muscle for emotional recovery and I have the perfect set of tools to do it with.
This morning started off with me worrying about an email I didn't get, an email I did get and an email I had to send. I began complaining to the world's most patient husband about my reaction to each of these and I jumped around from being a Persecutor of the person who was insensitive in their message to the Persecutor of the person who has not replied to me yet. I staked a pretty good claim for what was the real underlying issue ... my feeling Victimized. I saw my husband's face and remembered how my friend had stopped me on our walk one day and said "We're not going there again are we?"
Yes indeed I was 'going there again'. Heading down the shaft of self-pity and blame. Now before you think I am a complete nut for doing this I have to remind you that we ALL do it. We ALL get triggered by something - a person, an event, a situation. Some of us recover and some of grab the experience for all it's worth and carry the badge of Victimhood for as long as we can milk it. Been there. Done that. Doesn't work for me anymore.
I am often asked (as I was last week at the WIN Luncheon in Tobermory) what to do when the thing you let go of shows up again. Well, that's what happened to me this morning and that's when I knew my best tool for emotional recovery was the First Vital Question of the TED* work: Where are you putting your focus? When I am willing to pause and be honest with myself, the answer is usually that I am focused on what I don't want; on what is not working in a relationship or situation; what is causing me angst.
When we are clear about where we are putting our focus we can choose to instead focus on what we want. Some people have a tougher time pinpointing what they want and since I'm both a teacher and student of this work, I was able to get there within minutes. It was clear that I wanted to enjoy the little house we are renovating and to celebrate the wonderful friendships that continue to nurture my soul. I almost leapt off the couch to start my day. Even I was more than surprised by how fast I could turn around my blue mood. No kidding.
The next steps of the process are equally powerful and while I didn't need them this morning there are times when I pull out my TED* worksheet and follow the path to liberation from drama.
None of us will ever be able to completely avoid being triggered. If we can't move past it without anxiety and feeling defeated, angry, frustrated, hurt, etc, then TED* has a surefire way to help us recover. How will you shift your focus today to make the most of your experience?
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She will be facilitating a special Women's Empowerment Retreat focused on the TED* work on March 25/26 2017 in Milton, Ontario. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.
This morning started off with me worrying about an email I didn't get, an email I did get and an email I had to send. I began complaining to the world's most patient husband about my reaction to each of these and I jumped around from being a Persecutor of the person who was insensitive in their message to the Persecutor of the person who has not replied to me yet. I staked a pretty good claim for what was the real underlying issue ... my feeling Victimized. I saw my husband's face and remembered how my friend had stopped me on our walk one day and said "We're not going there again are we?"
Yes indeed I was 'going there again'. Heading down the shaft of self-pity and blame. Now before you think I am a complete nut for doing this I have to remind you that we ALL do it. We ALL get triggered by something - a person, an event, a situation. Some of us recover and some of grab the experience for all it's worth and carry the badge of Victimhood for as long as we can milk it. Been there. Done that. Doesn't work for me anymore.
I am often asked (as I was last week at the WIN Luncheon in Tobermory) what to do when the thing you let go of shows up again. Well, that's what happened to me this morning and that's when I knew my best tool for emotional recovery was the First Vital Question of the TED* work: Where are you putting your focus? When I am willing to pause and be honest with myself, the answer is usually that I am focused on what I don't want; on what is not working in a relationship or situation; what is causing me angst.
When we are clear about where we are putting our focus we can choose to instead focus on what we want. Some people have a tougher time pinpointing what they want and since I'm both a teacher and student of this work, I was able to get there within minutes. It was clear that I wanted to enjoy the little house we are renovating and to celebrate the wonderful friendships that continue to nurture my soul. I almost leapt off the couch to start my day. Even I was more than surprised by how fast I could turn around my blue mood. No kidding.
The next steps of the process are equally powerful and while I didn't need them this morning there are times when I pull out my TED* worksheet and follow the path to liberation from drama.
None of us will ever be able to completely avoid being triggered. If we can't move past it without anxiety and feeling defeated, angry, frustrated, hurt, etc, then TED* has a surefire way to help us recover. How will you shift your focus today to make the most of your experience?
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She will be facilitating a special Women's Empowerment Retreat focused on the TED* work on March 25/26 2017 in Milton, Ontario. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.
