When a Victim Orientation feels justified it is pretty hard to turn things around. I know. It just happened to me and I am a teacher of the Dreaded Drama Triangle/Empowerment Dynamic. After two hours of trying on swimsuits I went home humiliated and ashamed. I had just lost weight so I assumed I would have lots of flattering choices. Instead, I was shocked by how horrible everything looked on me. I fired off a pitifully sad email to a close friend and spent the rest of the day crying. My self-talk was hurtful and I lamented that I would never find a swimsuit for our upcoming vacation. I felt so victimized by food, by my body, by the food industry, the swim suit manufacturers, the images of women in swimsuits, etc. I jumped between blaming myself and blaming my environment. It was exhausting.
Early the next morning my friend replied with a comforting and encouraging email that was pointing me in a completely different direction. Some of it landed but I was fiercely holding onto my Victimhood. Even though I was feeling so defeated, I still clung to all the negative feelings that had risen inside of me. This was something I had been in training for my whole life so I did it well.
Then, as if I hadn't even seen it the first time, I re-read her message and the line "What would a Creator decide in this circumstance?" Yikes! Of course! The Creator Orientation from The Empowerment Dynamic!
I had plunged so far into the Victim Orientation I had forgotten (temporarily) that I also had the Creator energy. I clearly heard the words that bring The Empowerment Dynamic to life "what do you want?" I had to pause ... take a few deep breaths ... and check inside. Then I knew that what I really wanted was to feel love and appreciation for my body. I knew without hesitation that if I did that, I would eventually find what I was looking for. And I did. I spent that day being kind to myself and when some time opened up I headed back to the store to pick up some slacks I needed. As I browsed a nearby rack my eyes went up to a sign on a far wall saying 'Swimwear'. I hadn't even seen this the day before and in fact, had only been shopping in a small promotional section. I took my self-confidence to the Swimwear section and could scarcely believe how many viable options there were. I told myself that I didn't need to buy one but could have some fun trying on different styles and wouldn't you know. I found exactly what I wanted. This picture is the one I chose and I love it.
I didn't find my new swimsuit by holding onto a Victim Orientation. I found it by empowering myself through the Creator perspective. So ... I teach this work ... and I live it. The biggest lesson for me was that I had not been consistently doing the things that keep me grounded (twice daily meditation, daily journal writing, brisk walks). Life had gotten a little disorganized and I had let go of the very things that keep me in tune with my wise inner self. Drama and victim responses often show up when we have 'looked away' for a moment. That's what I had done and now I am recommitted to staying focused on self-love and self-acceptance so I am more prepared for the next surprise!
If you would like to tap into your Creator energy, join me and like-minded women on March 25/26, 2017 to learn and grow together (links below). Now ... go be your most beautiful, courageous self!
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She will be facilitating a special Women's Empowerment Retreat focused on the TED* work on March 25/26 2017 in Milton, Ontario. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.
Early the next morning my friend replied with a comforting and encouraging email that was pointing me in a completely different direction. Some of it landed but I was fiercely holding onto my Victimhood. Even though I was feeling so defeated, I still clung to all the negative feelings that had risen inside of me. This was something I had been in training for my whole life so I did it well.
Then, as if I hadn't even seen it the first time, I re-read her message and the line "What would a Creator decide in this circumstance?" Yikes! Of course! The Creator Orientation from The Empowerment Dynamic!
I had plunged so far into the Victim Orientation I had forgotten (temporarily) that I also had the Creator energy. I clearly heard the words that bring The Empowerment Dynamic to life "what do you want?" I had to pause ... take a few deep breaths ... and check inside. Then I knew that what I really wanted was to feel love and appreciation for my body. I knew without hesitation that if I did that, I would eventually find what I was looking for. And I did. I spent that day being kind to myself and when some time opened up I headed back to the store to pick up some slacks I needed. As I browsed a nearby rack my eyes went up to a sign on a far wall saying 'Swimwear'. I hadn't even seen this the day before and in fact, had only been shopping in a small promotional section. I took my self-confidence to the Swimwear section and could scarcely believe how many viable options there were. I told myself that I didn't need to buy one but could have some fun trying on different styles and wouldn't you know. I found exactly what I wanted. This picture is the one I chose and I love it.
I didn't find my new swimsuit by holding onto a Victim Orientation. I found it by empowering myself through the Creator perspective. So ... I teach this work ... and I live it. The biggest lesson for me was that I had not been consistently doing the things that keep me grounded (twice daily meditation, daily journal writing, brisk walks). Life had gotten a little disorganized and I had let go of the very things that keep me in tune with my wise inner self. Drama and victim responses often show up when we have 'looked away' for a moment. That's what I had done and now I am recommitted to staying focused on self-love and self-acceptance so I am more prepared for the next surprise!
If you would like to tap into your Creator energy, join me and like-minded women on March 25/26, 2017 to learn and grow together (links below). Now ... go be your most beautiful, courageous self!
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She will be facilitating a special Women's Empowerment Retreat focused on the TED* work on March 25/26 2017 in Milton, Ontario. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.