Shame may have got me here but courage will get me out.
I felt this enormous surge of emotion this morning when I stumbled onto a new website called The Good Enough Project.
Oh my gosh ... I've been studying and teaching this work for years. I dip way down into the shame/not good enough place and blast through to the "I've SO got this" place. I've been up and down and all around this road so many times that I have the signs memorized. I can't say I don't know anymore because I do.
So what happened this morning? Well, like most triggers it wasn't just one thing but a combination of a whole lot of little things that set the stage. And then, by the Grace of God, I checked into LinkedIn and found the post by Anne Day. Perfect!
It didn't feel perfect when it sent me to the "who do I think I am" perspective. I felt that wave of fear that someone else was doing what I do and doing it better because they were smarter, more professional, more connected, more committed and yes ... the inevitable physical comparisons ... better looking, thinner ... and probably richer and more confident, etc. etc. Geeez. What some of us put ourselves through! For a small chunk of time I sunk deep into a shame pit and raced for the nearest chocolate bar.
And I might have stayed there if I didn't feel a sense of responsibility to all the women who have stood before me and admitted their own self-doubt. Even though feeling like a victim was familiar, I knew I had to use my courage muscles to seek a different perspective. I stepped back, and said to myself "Hey, what's going on here? What's the truth?" I thought of the ways I was showing up in the world with commitment and focus and all the wonderful characteristics I was applying to Anne and Amy. I thought of the difference I make in so many lives (including my own) by facing up to all that makes me human. I thought of the acknowledgements from clients in my 'atta girl' file and then, in an act of genuine compassion, I remembered what I am grateful for. How could I stay stuck when my life is full of blessings?
And those blessings include the women who travel from near and far to be here for a focused experience of self-discovery. Most come with a fierce determination to learn and grow. I LOVE that. It makes room for all of us to heal and blossom. The few that come with huge resistance (although they don't call it that) end up judging me and everything we do. They are more frightened of themselves than they know and their biggest and best defense is to project on me. I get that. I've done it. I have lost opportunities because an event/experience didn't show up the way I wanted it to. And this morning I slid headlong into the trap of comparing and self-loathing which often leads into condemning others.
Beneath all the learning it is the I'm Good Enough belief that steers us away from the pit we climb, often willingly into. Of course I'm good enough. Of course YOU are good enough. I live and breathe the belief that we are all born good enough. Sometimes I forget and then along comes a beautifully articulated website like The Good Enough Project.
So ... Jump in. Engage. Rise Up. Be Part of the Movement to uncover and discover what makes us all a worthy piece of the puzzle of humanity and spirituality. You matter. We all matter!
I felt this enormous surge of emotion this morning when I stumbled onto a new website called The Good Enough Project.
Oh my gosh ... I've been studying and teaching this work for years. I dip way down into the shame/not good enough place and blast through to the "I've SO got this" place. I've been up and down and all around this road so many times that I have the signs memorized. I can't say I don't know anymore because I do.
So what happened this morning? Well, like most triggers it wasn't just one thing but a combination of a whole lot of little things that set the stage. And then, by the Grace of God, I checked into LinkedIn and found the post by Anne Day. Perfect!
It didn't feel perfect when it sent me to the "who do I think I am" perspective. I felt that wave of fear that someone else was doing what I do and doing it better because they were smarter, more professional, more connected, more committed and yes ... the inevitable physical comparisons ... better looking, thinner ... and probably richer and more confident, etc. etc. Geeez. What some of us put ourselves through! For a small chunk of time I sunk deep into a shame pit and raced for the nearest chocolate bar.
And I might have stayed there if I didn't feel a sense of responsibility to all the women who have stood before me and admitted their own self-doubt. Even though feeling like a victim was familiar, I knew I had to use my courage muscles to seek a different perspective. I stepped back, and said to myself "Hey, what's going on here? What's the truth?" I thought of the ways I was showing up in the world with commitment and focus and all the wonderful characteristics I was applying to Anne and Amy. I thought of the difference I make in so many lives (including my own) by facing up to all that makes me human. I thought of the acknowledgements from clients in my 'atta girl' file and then, in an act of genuine compassion, I remembered what I am grateful for. How could I stay stuck when my life is full of blessings?
And those blessings include the women who travel from near and far to be here for a focused experience of self-discovery. Most come with a fierce determination to learn and grow. I LOVE that. It makes room for all of us to heal and blossom. The few that come with huge resistance (although they don't call it that) end up judging me and everything we do. They are more frightened of themselves than they know and their biggest and best defense is to project on me. I get that. I've done it. I have lost opportunities because an event/experience didn't show up the way I wanted it to. And this morning I slid headlong into the trap of comparing and self-loathing which often leads into condemning others.
Beneath all the learning it is the I'm Good Enough belief that steers us away from the pit we climb, often willingly into. Of course I'm good enough. Of course YOU are good enough. I live and breathe the belief that we are all born good enough. Sometimes I forget and then along comes a beautifully articulated website like The Good Enough Project.
So ... Jump in. Engage. Rise Up. Be Part of the Movement to uncover and discover what makes us all a worthy piece of the puzzle of humanity and spirituality. You matter. We all matter!
