"If I can't do it right, I won't do it at all."
Sound familiar? Maybe you don't have the perfectionist gene running through your blood. But even if you didn't have this mindset instilled in you from an early age, you might have another one - the "Oh wow ... look what everyone ELSE is doing."
Comparison urges are common and we want to use them in our life to motivate us, inspire us and generally keep us from collapsing in a heap with no direction. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happens to some people when they look around at what other people are accomplishing. It becomes painfully obvious that 'everyone else' is contributing, volunteering, succeeding, transforming and completing in all the areas we wish we were too. So what's stopping us?
You might think it's simply procrastination or uncertainty. What I believe is it's all about fear. Yes, here we go again ... that F word that causes us to choke at the moment we step in front of a microphone or have to hand in the written copy we have been re-editing for six hours. If ever you want to overcome this self-limiting behaviour, you will have to be willing to find out what you are really afraid of. Saying "I don't like speaking in public" or "I don't like to make mistakes" doesn't cut it. There's much more than that going on.
We all make mistakes. We all get uncomfortable. What is really being triggered inside of you? A fear of making a mistake might be the overlay on a fear of criticism. Somewhere in your life you may have felt the sting of repeated criticism and not learned how to handle it. Especially when that criticism comes from people we trust or admire.
Ultimately, when we say we are afraid, we are really saying "I don't think I can handle the outcome - criticism, rejection, abandonment, shame or whatever else may come up." If we work on our coping skills and learn how to manage the barrage of emotions that are ignited within us, then we have mastered the art of self-reliance.
Sound familiar? Maybe you don't have the perfectionist gene running through your blood. But even if you didn't have this mindset instilled in you from an early age, you might have another one - the "Oh wow ... look what everyone ELSE is doing."
Comparison urges are common and we want to use them in our life to motivate us, inspire us and generally keep us from collapsing in a heap with no direction. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happens to some people when they look around at what other people are accomplishing. It becomes painfully obvious that 'everyone else' is contributing, volunteering, succeeding, transforming and completing in all the areas we wish we were too. So what's stopping us?
You might think it's simply procrastination or uncertainty. What I believe is it's all about fear. Yes, here we go again ... that F word that causes us to choke at the moment we step in front of a microphone or have to hand in the written copy we have been re-editing for six hours. If ever you want to overcome this self-limiting behaviour, you will have to be willing to find out what you are really afraid of. Saying "I don't like speaking in public" or "I don't like to make mistakes" doesn't cut it. There's much more than that going on.
We all make mistakes. We all get uncomfortable. What is really being triggered inside of you? A fear of making a mistake might be the overlay on a fear of criticism. Somewhere in your life you may have felt the sting of repeated criticism and not learned how to handle it. Especially when that criticism comes from people we trust or admire.
Ultimately, when we say we are afraid, we are really saying "I don't think I can handle the outcome - criticism, rejection, abandonment, shame or whatever else may come up." If we work on our coping skills and learn how to manage the barrage of emotions that are ignited within us, then we have mastered the art of self-reliance.
