Like many coaches, I sometimes ask my clients ... what would have to happen for you to live a life without regrets? And the answers are often provocative and subtle. Sometimes it is a matter of telling someone that they love them. Sometimes it is leaving a toxic job environment. Sometimes it is climbing a mountain, doing a vision quest, earning a degree or seeing the seven wonders of the world.
Yet as I sit here quietly on the dock, breathing in the fresh air and watching the ripples on the Lake Huron waters, I realize that regardless of how many things I do, I will live with some regrets. There are things I can't fix; time I can't recover; relationships I can't repair; apologies I'll never make; moments lost forever.
So how do we live with regrets? How do we reconcile being happy in the moment knowing there are people we have hurt or opportunities we will never have again? It starts with the simplest act of acknowledging the truth. Instead of denying or avoiding, just be honest with yourself. A dear friend once told me that she felt tremendous relief when she accepted the fact that some things in life will never be resolved.
Next, I will forgive myself for being too young, distracted, afraid, anxious, neglectful, oblivious, inexperienced, insensitive, angry, frustrated or whatever else was going on when I missed the chance to be real, to reconcile, to leap, to stop, to ask, to wait, to listen, to heal, to breathe.
What I know for sure is that in spite of the regrets I am feeling, I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I will still make plans and I will still face failures and I will still have regrets. And I can live with that because I am human and all that really matters is that in this precious moment, I love and accept myself, just as I am.
Yet as I sit here quietly on the dock, breathing in the fresh air and watching the ripples on the Lake Huron waters, I realize that regardless of how many things I do, I will live with some regrets. There are things I can't fix; time I can't recover; relationships I can't repair; apologies I'll never make; moments lost forever.
So how do we live with regrets? How do we reconcile being happy in the moment knowing there are people we have hurt or opportunities we will never have again? It starts with the simplest act of acknowledging the truth. Instead of denying or avoiding, just be honest with yourself. A dear friend once told me that she felt tremendous relief when she accepted the fact that some things in life will never be resolved.
Next, I will forgive myself for being too young, distracted, afraid, anxious, neglectful, oblivious, inexperienced, insensitive, angry, frustrated or whatever else was going on when I missed the chance to be real, to reconcile, to leap, to stop, to ask, to wait, to listen, to heal, to breathe.
What I know for sure is that in spite of the regrets I am feeling, I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I will still make plans and I will still face failures and I will still have regrets. And I can live with that because I am human and all that really matters is that in this precious moment, I love and accept myself, just as I am.
