Except when it is. Or at least when you think it is.
People find it easy to blame others for what isn't working or what has happened in their lives. Mothers and Fathers get most of the blame but ex-spouses, business partners, children, teachers, neighbours and politicians share a big portion of blame. If only they had been nicer, more thoughtful, loyal, respectful, generous, deliberate, understanding, serious, honest and sensitive. If only they had been more just, more believable, more thorough, more consistent. If only they had been less demanding, less irritating, less aloof, less controlling, less critical and less mean.
The act of pointing fingers of blame is a universal phenomenon and we have all done it to some extent at one time or another. Except when we don't. And what I often see is that when people are not blaming others they turn with monumental intensity to blaming themselves. They become huge bullies finding themselves wrong, criticizing their actions, judging their words and being extremely harsh in their assessment of their own lives. Whew.
Since we live with ourselves and can't 'get away' from the noise, it's often easier to look for someone else to blame. The slippery slope in this of course is that we then become victims. Victims of what we perceive as other people's poor choices. It might cause less internal angst to feel that someone else is responsible for our misery but in the end, when we begin personal reflective work, we discover that we always ... repeat always, had some hand in our situation. Yuck! This can be the great fear that pushes us over the edge into addiction or self-abusive attitudes and behaviours. After all, how else are we going to avoid the self-diminishment that results from hyper critical self-examination?
Imagine a life without blame. Imagine taking responsibility (not blame) when it fits and letting go of judgement. Imagine believing that there are powerful and empowering lessons to be learned from every relationship ... including the one we have with 'ourselves'. Imagine not being afraid of your own thoughts.
The way out is 'through'. Find a coach and start your engines!