Sometimes I know what I have agreed to and other times, I get a huge surprise. Like when I agree to hold a grudge. Yes, I do it, even though I am not always aware. A clear example was a couple of weeks ago when I ran into someone I hadn't seen in months. Suddenly, and what I would claim is uncharacteristic of me, I found myself withholding. I wasn't nearly as friendly as I usually am and knew I was definitely feeling an air of judgement. Yikes - what the heck was going on?
I came home and did some reflecting. What I realized was that I felt this person had taken advantage of an elderly friend of mine. I was holding onto this perspective and making a silent agreement with myself that I would not be 'nice' to this person out of a self-righteous, revengeful position. Yuck!
So where do agreements come in? We live our lives based on agreements we make with ourselves. Agreements that can sound like: "If he does that to me, I'm going to do this to him." "If she doesn't call/write/communicate with me, then I am going to criticize her lack of appreciation/responsibility". And my all time favourite: "If they say this about me, then I am going to act like a victim."
What if you chose an empowered set of agreements as outlined in The Four Agreements? What if you stopped blaming others because YOU took something they said or did personally. At a spring retreat the women coined a phrase about not taking things personally. They realized that everyone has stuff they are 'draggin' in their wagon' and that it shapes how we show up in the world. For every person you notice having a negative impact because of their wagon full of 'stuff', take a look at your own set of agreements.
I feel so strongly about the subtle, powerful messages underlying The Four Agreements that I designed a one day workshop to give women a hands on experience of owning a new set of inspiring agreements. Agreements that give you space to be human (as in, 'do your best') and hold you to a respectful, moral and enlightened way of living (as in, 'be impeccable with your word'). Take responsibility for your life. Join me November 15th. Details here.
I came home and did some reflecting. What I realized was that I felt this person had taken advantage of an elderly friend of mine. I was holding onto this perspective and making a silent agreement with myself that I would not be 'nice' to this person out of a self-righteous, revengeful position. Yuck!
So where do agreements come in? We live our lives based on agreements we make with ourselves. Agreements that can sound like: "If he does that to me, I'm going to do this to him." "If she doesn't call/write/communicate with me, then I am going to criticize her lack of appreciation/responsibility". And my all time favourite: "If they say this about me, then I am going to act like a victim."
What if you chose an empowered set of agreements as outlined in The Four Agreements? What if you stopped blaming others because YOU took something they said or did personally. At a spring retreat the women coined a phrase about not taking things personally. They realized that everyone has stuff they are 'draggin' in their wagon' and that it shapes how we show up in the world. For every person you notice having a negative impact because of their wagon full of 'stuff', take a look at your own set of agreements.
I feel so strongly about the subtle, powerful messages underlying The Four Agreements that I designed a one day workshop to give women a hands on experience of owning a new set of inspiring agreements. Agreements that give you space to be human (as in, 'do your best') and hold you to a respectful, moral and enlightened way of living (as in, 'be impeccable with your word'). Take responsibility for your life. Join me November 15th. Details here.
