When something lands inside of us it often feels like a tiny apple seed. Small, seemingly insignificant and soon ... we think, forgotten. But what I've learned is that these little happenstances can firmly root into our hearts and minds until one day we discover we are carrying around a rock solid avocado pit.
It's those first moments that can go unnoticed. The remark from a parent, the forgetfulness of a teacher, the touch of a stranger. Any of these might not carry much weight but we know that seeds planted at a young age or during vulnerable times can sometimes cause lasting harm.
Many people grow into adulthood with a subtle, underlying belief that they aren't good enough or that they are somehow damaged; unlovable or unworthy. The truth is of course that they learn that from people whose opinions and approval they crave. Typically, that's a parent, teacher, important relative or other close associate. Rarely do the people inflicting the message have any idea how crippling and long lasting that can be to a tender young mind.
As adults, when we discover that what we have been believing was actually a reflection of someone else's fear or pain you would think we could let it go. But often by the time we uncover the real story, we find that we are sometimes either reluctant or unable to move on. The reluctance can come from the distorted desire to blame someone else for our years of self-sabotage or regret. The inability to move on may be the sheer lack of energy to shift something we have long thought was real. I often say that it's like finding out the blue coffee mug you have had for 40 years was really yellow all along. Hard to believe!
Like any other change we need to replace the old thinking and behaviours with new, more empowering ones. People argue with me all the time about the homework I give them to meditate, journal, do mirror work and reflect. The reply emphatically "No, no, no. I want this to be easier." Well, it could have been if we hadn't put so many years into the self-destruction of our psyches.
So ... stop resisting and start loving yourself, affirming yourself and doing the things that you know will empower you. That's the clear, direct path to liberation from our past.
It's those first moments that can go unnoticed. The remark from a parent, the forgetfulness of a teacher, the touch of a stranger. Any of these might not carry much weight but we know that seeds planted at a young age or during vulnerable times can sometimes cause lasting harm.
Many people grow into adulthood with a subtle, underlying belief that they aren't good enough or that they are somehow damaged; unlovable or unworthy. The truth is of course that they learn that from people whose opinions and approval they crave. Typically, that's a parent, teacher, important relative or other close associate. Rarely do the people inflicting the message have any idea how crippling and long lasting that can be to a tender young mind.
As adults, when we discover that what we have been believing was actually a reflection of someone else's fear or pain you would think we could let it go. But often by the time we uncover the real story, we find that we are sometimes either reluctant or unable to move on. The reluctance can come from the distorted desire to blame someone else for our years of self-sabotage or regret. The inability to move on may be the sheer lack of energy to shift something we have long thought was real. I often say that it's like finding out the blue coffee mug you have had for 40 years was really yellow all along. Hard to believe!
Like any other change we need to replace the old thinking and behaviours with new, more empowering ones. People argue with me all the time about the homework I give them to meditate, journal, do mirror work and reflect. The reply emphatically "No, no, no. I want this to be easier." Well, it could have been if we hadn't put so many years into the self-destruction of our psyches.
So ... stop resisting and start loving yourself, affirming yourself and doing the things that you know will empower you. That's the clear, direct path to liberation from our past.