I notice that I'm willing to be accepting of the choices that people make even when they don't seem wise, ethical, logical or empowering. At least that's the story I tell myself. What really happens is that I go deep into the space of analyzing my own response instead of nodding and letting go. I know I do this because something gets triggered in me and rather than resolve the 'old' wound, I ruminate, repeating phrases and questions that I imagine are related to others instead of my own issues.
And I make up another big story that being in relationship with people who are not interested in personal growth or facing their shadows is okay because I get to keep learning about myself. Nonsense. I get to play in their drama. AND I get to keep going back over my 'stuff' and spreading it out on the table to muse over ... again.
Acceptance without judgement and attachment is more challenging for me. I see now that I frequently add a little disclaimer or explanation on the end of it when I have the conversation in my head or with others. I'm setting an intention to stop that. Either I am accepting or not. While there is a light and shadow and varying degrees in everything, I see where I use this as my excuse to enable others in their self-destructive behaviours. That doesn't serve my higher purpose or theirs.
So, I'm starting an interesting journey of disengaging from my role as a good listener when what I'm hearing is an ongoing worship of the drama cycle in someone's life. I don't know how easy or hard this will be and it can be tempting to label it before it happens. No matter. The universe has heard my declaration and no doubt the opportunity to discover how committed I am, will arrive ... sooner rather than later.
What about you? Are you using the lofty, spiritual, loving pretense of acceptance to enable someone in your life to continue to self-abuse or act up? Are you willing to empower yourself ... and others ... by setting a boundary?
And I make up another big story that being in relationship with people who are not interested in personal growth or facing their shadows is okay because I get to keep learning about myself. Nonsense. I get to play in their drama. AND I get to keep going back over my 'stuff' and spreading it out on the table to muse over ... again.
Acceptance without judgement and attachment is more challenging for me. I see now that I frequently add a little disclaimer or explanation on the end of it when I have the conversation in my head or with others. I'm setting an intention to stop that. Either I am accepting or not. While there is a light and shadow and varying degrees in everything, I see where I use this as my excuse to enable others in their self-destructive behaviours. That doesn't serve my higher purpose or theirs.
So, I'm starting an interesting journey of disengaging from my role as a good listener when what I'm hearing is an ongoing worship of the drama cycle in someone's life. I don't know how easy or hard this will be and it can be tempting to label it before it happens. No matter. The universe has heard my declaration and no doubt the opportunity to discover how committed I am, will arrive ... sooner rather than later.
What about you? Are you using the lofty, spiritual, loving pretense of acceptance to enable someone in your life to continue to self-abuse or act up? Are you willing to empower yourself ... and others ... by setting a boundary?
