For some reason there seems to be a lot of people in my life who are on the move over the past year. There are friends moving to the country and some moving to the city. There are those who are downsizing and those expanding. There are those leaving homesteads and those building new ones. My perspectives on these various changes became very clear last November.
Following a dream he has had for many years, my husband Doug and I bought a small house in his hometown. While we have no immediate intention of moving from our piece of paradise in Tobermory, we now have a getaway to a city that offers things we don't have here. It was both an impulsive and well thought out decision. And it has felt right every step of the way. That's what brought me to a realization about myself. I haven't always been fully accepting of other people's choices.
Generally, I get pretty excited when people I know are stepping into new experiences. I love hearing and feeling the energy they give off when they are focused on following a vision and I can get caught up in the process very easily. I have thought I was pretty supportive and open minded but upon reflection I wondered if I was as accepting as I imagined myself to be. What came up was conversations between Doug and I that sounded like "Why would anyone want that?" "I couldn't stand living there." "I'm not sure they have really thought this out." "I hope they don't regret that decision." and "I would never do that." Looking back, even though we were happy for our friends and family, we were still making some comparisons with our own lives and what mattered to us. We did offer lots of sincere praise and encouragement to our others but curiously there was still a little part of us that was shaking our heads in confusion. Until we bought our house.
What happened next was a big reminder of how instinctively judgemental we all can be. We were so excited and began sharing our news with friends and family. Reactions were mixed and right away we could tell from some of the questions and remarks that others were now seeing our decision through the lens of their experience. Some were impressed. Some were not. Some showed mild approval and others were resistant. In the latter, each time we mentioned something that was intriguing for us we got a retort that sounded denigrating. Suddenly I realized we were facing the same range of reactions that we might have displayed in the past.
I'd like to think that we were more subtle with our objections but I'm wise enough to know that we may have been a little transparent ... at least some of the time. The lesson was learned and I have since found myself giving my full attention to the feelings and energy behind changes that others are making. Acceptance of ourselves and others is a key ingredient to healthy relationships. I'm all for that!
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She facilitates the engaging I've Got This! One Day Retreats focused on the Power of TED* work for private groups, businesses, organizations and sometimes for women only. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.
Following a dream he has had for many years, my husband Doug and I bought a small house in his hometown. While we have no immediate intention of moving from our piece of paradise in Tobermory, we now have a getaway to a city that offers things we don't have here. It was both an impulsive and well thought out decision. And it has felt right every step of the way. That's what brought me to a realization about myself. I haven't always been fully accepting of other people's choices.
Generally, I get pretty excited when people I know are stepping into new experiences. I love hearing and feeling the energy they give off when they are focused on following a vision and I can get caught up in the process very easily. I have thought I was pretty supportive and open minded but upon reflection I wondered if I was as accepting as I imagined myself to be. What came up was conversations between Doug and I that sounded like "Why would anyone want that?" "I couldn't stand living there." "I'm not sure they have really thought this out." "I hope they don't regret that decision." and "I would never do that." Looking back, even though we were happy for our friends and family, we were still making some comparisons with our own lives and what mattered to us. We did offer lots of sincere praise and encouragement to our others but curiously there was still a little part of us that was shaking our heads in confusion. Until we bought our house.
What happened next was a big reminder of how instinctively judgemental we all can be. We were so excited and began sharing our news with friends and family. Reactions were mixed and right away we could tell from some of the questions and remarks that others were now seeing our decision through the lens of their experience. Some were impressed. Some were not. Some showed mild approval and others were resistant. In the latter, each time we mentioned something that was intriguing for us we got a retort that sounded denigrating. Suddenly I realized we were facing the same range of reactions that we might have displayed in the past.
I'd like to think that we were more subtle with our objections but I'm wise enough to know that we may have been a little transparent ... at least some of the time. The lesson was learned and I have since found myself giving my full attention to the feelings and energy behind changes that others are making. Acceptance of ourselves and others is a key ingredient to healthy relationships. I'm all for that!
Ms. Daryl Wood is the founder and heartfelt leader of the life-enhancing Women's Wisdom Retreats. She is also a published author and an empathetic, compassionate, Outcome-focused Coach. She facilitates the engaging I've Got This! One Day Retreats focused on the Power of TED* work for private groups, businesses, organizations and sometimes for women only. Visit www.darylwood.com and www.womenswisdomretreats.com for more information.
